What am I doin' wrong?

That title is something I say alot as a joke to make fun of some of the guys that have girlfriends. I mean some of them are real chodes (costanza wannabe's and aids-patient wannabe's) so it's not really knocking myself but man tonight it finally hit me....

My first girlfriend ever, my first crush, my first kiss.....is now a professional model, and Im on the atkins diet.........man I went wrong someplace and I choose to blame them, the women I've dated, only because if I blamed myself it would open up a whole new can of worms that I would have to deal with (read: sarcasim)

I feel like John Cusak in High Fidelity

"Top 5 breakups of all time"

or maybe it's more like...

I feel like I'm in the J. Geils Band

"My blood runs cold, my memories have just been sold (or told or something), my angel is a centerfold"

Damn all you hot women Ive liked or like