I Am, Whatever You Say I Am

Ok so I promised to give one of the more "inner thought" posts, so here it goes. It's weird writting these all out for the world to see, but fuck it. I am me and if you don't like it I will be more than happy to tell you to go to hell.

I'm not happy. I mean, I am happy with what I got but I want more. I can't remember the last time I was satisfied, if I ever was. If I get an 84 on a test, I want an 85...if I get a 95 I want a 96. If I workout and move my curling or something up 5 pounds, I wanna do 5 pounds more than that. If I meet a girl I like, I want to fall in love. Where does all of this get me? I'm never satisfied. I don't think I will be satisfied untill I have an awesome build, a great job, and I'm deeply in love (the order there is not most important to least, probably just the oppiset). Sometimes I get too scared of failing and run away from all these things I want so bad but I am working on fixing that, I am actually studying and workin' out a bunch..when it comes to the ladies....eehhh... I'm still a pussy unless I'm drunk, which I cut back on a ton so that whole thing is goin' nowhere.

Part of my thinks that this "all or nothing" feeling is the way I should be thinking and part of me thinks that it will lead me to the looney bin faster than I should be goin there. In a way I think it's both. I need these thoughts to drive me, when I see people that posses what I want (whether it's grades or women or whatever) it makes me work harder for it. On the other hand, if I never get it I get real down on myself. It's like the greatest blessing and the worst curse all wrapped into one fucked up emotional state.

All I know is, I want it all. I don't think I'm gonna stop pushing for it anytime soon, so look out for me.

Don't Ask Me How Owen Wilson Fits Into This

3 posts in like 10 min. is a too much.......but this is just funny

jluv1982: holy shit dude

ScottiePP7: ?

jluv1982: i just took a dump that involved using a
stick to unlodge the... well shit..

ScottiePP7: out of your ass?

jluv1982: right out of my anus

ScottiePP7: you stuck the stick in your anus?

jluv1982: no

jluv1982: in the toilet

ScottiePP7: it cloged the toilet and you used a
stick?

jluv1982: yes

ScottiePP7: what kind of stick?

ScottiePP7: did you throw the stick away then?

jluv1982: dude, the guy on msn.com looks like owen
wilson

jluv1982: yea, it was an old piece of broom

jluv1982: the garbageman will have a pleasant
supris

jluv1982: e

ScottiePP7: oh ok, thats fine then.........a pretty
sweet story "the shit that would not go down"(said
in homstar's halloween voice)

jluv1982: lol

jluv1982: i can totally see it

ScottiePP7: the shit?

ScottiePP7: does it haunt you?

jluv1982: LOL

A dream I once had

This is compliments of my good buddy Matt W., who is not only an awesome friend but also worried about my survival on this Easter (Easter tries to kill me each year, surgery, mono, women, you know how it is............Easter fuckin loathes me). Anyway here is the IM I sent him about my dream:

ScottiePP7: so i had a dream saturday night. you and i were drug dealers living the life. We had it all cars, women, money, more women. Jeff was one of our main men. We worked out of the back of the old Jamesway in Dunmore. You know, "shipping and recieving". Then tragedy struck. The cops found us out. Our buisness went to shambles. You and I managed to make it away without being caught. Jeff made it out also but not with us, we kept touch with him over the cell phone. We were looking for a place to hide out and we decided on Borders bookstore. It wasnt a normal borders tho, it had a country music section. We hid there thinking "who would look for us in a country section?" While we were there we started the buisness back up. A hot girl helped us hide there(i think I know her but she is too fuzy now to remember). One day the cops came again, she tried to help us, told us a good place to hide, the bathroom.
ScottiePP7: We hide in the bathroom but they found us anyway. It was a SWAT team, in full masks and stuff, so we couldnt see their faces
ScottiePP7: I asked one of them how they found us
ScottiePP7: they lifted up their mask and it was
ScottiePP7: GRASSO
ScottiePP7: he said he ratted us out and went "straight"
ScottiePP7: then shot us in the heads
ScottiePP7: and that was my dream
ScottiePP7: later

I'm on my way, don't know where I'm goin..

OK so I'm gonna give you all a quick rundown of my Easter Break:

- Thursday: Saw RBF and it fuckin' kicked ass and i drank way to much and blacked out, I did meet the bands tho which was hella cool. I recommend the band Lost City Angles to anyone who likes punk and remembers the great band Spring Heeled Jack (it has their old singer in it..singing)

- Friday: Went to Corckscrews to celebrate my man Tone-loc's B-day and then to Corckscrews to chill and dance with the NP girls a bit, had a blast even though we listened to a DMB cover band. Those girls are nice and fun and OC should be a good time with them. Apprently Ange danced in a cage but I missed.......that woulda been hillarious to see.

- Saturday: Went up to the Cabin in Moscow to chill with the NP crew again and then to corckscrews to chill with the rest of that crews (saw a ton of them this weekend), a nice chill nite for me..tom grahm played corckscrews again and im starting to like his style

- Easter Sunday: Had dinner with my lovely mommy, we had shrimp and lobster (not traditional but fuckin' awesome) and watched some NBA playoffs and then went to go see Head of State with Jeff (Bernie Mac is fuckin awesome)

- Monday: Chilled with my mom and she bought me an advance birthday present...........a laptop!!! w00t and w00t again then Teegan came in and her Jack and I hung out then went to Heil's bar and saw Simon Sez whom I really enjoyed but Jack hated (he hates a lot tho, so don't go by his opinion.........then again I like a lot of music, so don't go by mine)

Ok there is the rundown, i'll make one of those "feelings" post tomorrow about how I feel about my life and shit like that for all you emotional people