3 = B

It's summer time folks and if you are as cool as me you are doing absolutely nothing with yours aside from seeing how many 40oz a person can put into their system over 3 months (on a side note I think that should be a commercial for 40's get the old tootsie roll owl to pound like Colt 45 "1...ah..2....3.." then just do a keg stand "3, 3 40 oz's"..sorry).

Furthermore if you are also like me, you will still be, or possibly starting to, attuned college this fall and you may be quite worried.

"Scottie my GPA is dropping, what do I do?"
"Scottie I might my lose scholarships, what do I do?"
"Scottie Im a freshman girl, and Im worried about my freshman fifteen, what do I do?"

Well the answer to the first two questions is "read on friend, read on" the answer to the last question is "come over my house for dinner around 8, then read on with this post but above all else get to my house before you become a 'blueberry muffin'!"

Now here comes a preview of the soon to be best-selling book "3 = B" in which I will detail how to achieve that all elusive 3.0 GPA while still enjoying what college is really about (drinking and random sex and working on 4 years worth of things to tell your children to NOT do, the whole time managing 15 or so odd credits).

Remember this is just a sample, and if you are a publisher you should drop me a line to work out my book deal. This guide is VITAL to college students.

Use Proper Class Cutting Procedures:
- Sure you may have variable policies for your various classes but one thing holds true: Always skip the class after a test. Most professors don't have the test corrected by the next class anyway, so you aint getting it back. Furthermore, nothing that important for the next test will be covered in this class. It is a pure waste of your time.

Manage Your Time Well:
- Most college students get a little chart handed to them and are told "Use this block schedule to manage your time put in your classes and maybe an hour here and there to relax or student activities and leave the rest for your homework" This is total bullshit, manage your time well by seeing what classes you have on days there is an assignment or test due and see which ones you can skip and use that hour or so to get your prime studying in. Pysc 101 taught you that you can get the information strong in your head if you look over it the day of the test.

Library:
- "Print is dead" Egon said this in Ghostbusters back in the 80's and man was he right! Google is the best tool you have for doing papers, the library doesn't cut it anymore. You can find non-scholarly resources that will be great for doing your paper, its like the internet writes them for you! After the internet churns out 10 pages for you THEN hit the library and find a few resources to back up what the internet already told you. Now go celebrate your A- with a nice Camo 40oz

Go to Class:
- "WHAT?!?! Scottie did you get drunk mid-post?" No loyal reader I am not currently intoxicated. Im not saying pay attention, Im not telling you to do your homework, and Im certainly not telling you to sit in the front (but it could help the class participation grade, see my book for more on that). Say you wake up at 7:30 AM with a 5 alarm hangover you aren't going to be able to participate in that 8 AM Calculus class, so why go? The brain works in mysterious ways friends, just sit there and keep your ears open and yourself awake. The knowledge will seep in, granted not as much as would if you did your homework and stayed with the professor as they explained stuff, but come on, you aren't a nerd! Just sit there and let the knowledge seep in!

Well I hope you enjoyed the preview of my book and look forward to buying it, at the very least I hope you can use these tips to help you get where you want to be in college.

Now a link from the "Only in NEPA department"


Let's get shitfaced and shoot up the town!!!