My Confession

I got to admit something to you, Internet…

You aren’t going to like it…

I never use my MySpace account…

The only reason I have one was because I heard a long lost friend was on it from a mutual friend and I wanted to see how she was doing..

I hear it’s wildly addicting, I just could never get into it or maybe I never tried

But here is the thing, I found something more addicting

It has more stalking abilities

It even has phone numbers!

It’s simply know as…the Facebook

You may doubt me, and you may want to check it out but unless you still a college email address you can’t get in.

Oh, you have a college email address? Good, just head to thefacebook.com…oh wait,

Is your college accepted into the facebook yet? No? Looks like you are locked out yet again.

Here’s the point, not since Nazi-Germany has there been such an elitist group that so many where in and laughing at those who weren’t.

As you probably know by now Internet, I graduated already. My friends throughout my last semester (no one knows when facebook started but it is believed it has been established since the early 1800’s around the same time as the free masons group) would constantly ridicule me for my college’s lack of acceptance. I never thought I would join, but here I was on the DAY the University of Scranton was allowed in, filling out my profile as I was informed of my acceptance from one of the facebook's first minister of recruitment, my dear friend Erin.

I was finally in

So now I sit at my computer every chance I get, checking my facebook messages, looking through people from my college or my school to “add” as friends,…whats that? You don’t know what I mean by adding friends? Let me explain the culture of the facebook some more:

See you start off with no friends, unable to view anyone’s profile unless they go to your school, lifeless really.

Then you can search for people from your school or people you know through other means, and tell facebook they are your friends, but then facebook slaps you in the face and says,

“You silly ass, you are just tring to pad your stats and be friends with everyone. I will ask them if they truly consider you a friend or not then and only then may you add them as your friend!”

Which brings me to my next point, and truly the worst part of the facebook, stat padders.

You know the term from sports, a person that doesn’t need to score the next touchdown or hit the three or knock it out of the park but does it just to make that record or look better on paper. The facebook is full of these.

I got friendship emails asking to associate myself with these people and allow them to pad their stats some more. And what do I do?

I say, yes…..

See I am weak, and you know this Internet. I get them all from girls, usually really good looking ones. Guys don’t pad stats on facebook, its just not cool. So hot girl says “I know Scott, I’ll add him as a friend” and I say, “thanks for letting me get through comm. 101 by checking you out when you were turned around and here is a stat padder for you.”

Seems the girls are finally cashing in.

For those of you who can’t facebook..here is a screenshot of it.

Notice my picture, it is me drinking. On the facebook you need to either have a pic of you drinking, you tring to look hotter than you are or lastly just the basic ? mark for your face.

If you aren’t on the facebook, good for you..avoid it at all costs

If you are on the facebook look me up…I need to pad those stats some more