Me and Roberto, down by the Schoolyard

this one goes out to the one who reminded about the word "prologue"....I'll always remember you

Prologue

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Scottie P was on the streets, trying to consume
Some skirts for the eve, so I can get some funk
Just rollin' in my ride, chillin' all alone

Double heure –
Pronunciation: doo-blah-errr
Function: Proper Noun
Etymology: French and American, originally two random French words thrown together last Friday by Krieger Grasso and Scottie
1) To do two happy hours at the bars in one night; in a row
2) To consume so many drinks you don’t realize I’m giving verb definitions to a “proper noun”

The scene picks up after a great session of Double Heure which started at Whistles and then moved onto Tinks, we pick up the story around 1 AM with Scottie, Jeff and Gerry upstairs in the dance club.

1 AM – Dancing ensues, drinking has been going on for way too many hours at this point. The U’s graduation, double heure for no good reason, seeing friends from long ago and the usual alcoholism have all combined to make this crew a total mess, Scottie- doubly so.

1:30 AM – After dancing with a particular pretty girl for the past half hour or so it has been decided by Scottie that he will be walking home

Now

1:45 AM – Seeing Scottie’s latest attempt at a walkoff (for he has been known to do this) Jeff tries to follow him out where Scottie demands he goes back inside or else bad things will happen.

1:48 AM – After the argument with Jeff is over Scottie begins to take off, probably taking the worst way one could walk to his house from Tinks. For those of you who know he went down by Coopers all the way back up (as if he was driving), for those of you who don’t lets just say he walked about 2 miles downhill and about 3 or 4 uphill when he could have gone around just 3 up.

2:15 AM – Across from Cooper’s restaurant, Scottie’s phone begins to ring. It’s Gerry and Jeff looking for him. Scottie informs his pals that he is fine and he is on the steps of Church resting, proclaiming…”Don’t worry, Jesus loves me” and hangs up the phone.

2:20 AM – Scottie stops for another rest on East Scranton High School’s steps for a break, the cell phone battery is all but dead

2:30 AM – Now at Poplar St. in Scranton, the cell phone finally dies

2:45 AM – While walking up Poplar, Scottie sees a menacing dark figure walking down the hill towards him. The shadowy figure continues its approach until they stand next to each other. The figure mutters the phrase “1-1-0-5 Wyoming” in broken English.

Scottie begins to explain how to get to Wyoming Ave which is approximately about ¾ of a mile away and back from where he came from.

It doesn’t take long to realize this person can’t speak a lick of English and it has been decided by Scottie that he will walk this person to his destination.

2:47-3:00 AM – Scottie walks with this person through the city of Scranton.

In an attempt to learn a name for the figure he decides to implore an old trick he has seen in the moves. He pats on his chest and says “Scott” and then points at the figure.

No response.

He tries it again..

“Scott”

“Roberto”

Progress!! He has a name for his new compatriot. Over the course of the next few minutes Scottie talks to Roberto who every once in awhile mutters back but the conversation consists mostly of Scott talking and ending it with “you have no fuckin idea what I am saying Roberto, do you?” then Roberto would mutter, most likely just to humor him.

3:00 AM – Scottie and Roberto hit Monroe Ave. only a few blocks away from Wyoming

Roberto jumps up and down screaming “Wyoming!”

After pointing at the street sign and saying “No, Monroe!” many times Roberto gives Scott a gracias and takes off. Leaving Scott about 45 min behind where he was, once again looking at going all the way back up hill………

Epilogue

Chords
Strings
We brings
Melody
G-Funk
Where rhythm is life
And life is rhythm

At approximately 3:15 Scottie is found by his friends walking up the street 2 blocks from his house with his arms behind his back (think Morpheus in the Matrix). He wakes up the next day with some great voicemails along the likes of “Scott if you aren’t dead and raped, I will rape you and kill you!”

Aside from the voicemail he is left with a sense of good Karma, an excellent ice breaking tale for the bar, and a new Mexican friend.